you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
