Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
