i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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