it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
