$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
