Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I checked into jail on foursquare
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
