actually, I'm a sock model
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
