Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
