Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your shirt... Was in my pants
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
