i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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