it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
