ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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