I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
