was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
