you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
