I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
