I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
