im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
