Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Houston, we have a blender
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is Oprah even human
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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