The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
