He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
