I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
