I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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