if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize