I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
