he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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