Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
