some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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