I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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