No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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