Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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