I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
