This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
