i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
