I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
