Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
