I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
