it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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