Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
