five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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