Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
