he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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