I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
