I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
