mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
