I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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