after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
