Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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