He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
bring money and cleavage
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
