im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
